


Should Have Been

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Marauders' Era, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:24:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied boys.  However, it was *not* common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied Remus Lupin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

TITLE: Should Have Been

AUTHOR: Maple Tide

E-MAIL: mapletide@fastmail.fm

DISCLAIMER: The characters involved that are from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J. K. Rowling and all associated publishers (including Scholastic Press, Bloomsburg, and Raincoast). I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes. The plot involved, any stray characters that may crop up, and any other things that don't belong to her belong to me. I'm not seeking to make any money off of this; rather I'm going it for fun and for the chance to get it out of my own imagination before it drives me even more insane. Understood? =) Good. 

RATING: NC-17

CATEGORY: Slash Romance, Angst

KEYWORDS: Sirius, Remus, unrequited-to-requited

SPOILERS: none

PAIRING(S): Sirius/Remus

ARCHIVE: Marauder Me. Azkaban's Lair. Wolf and Hound. SBRL. Yeah, those.

FEEDBACK: Please? I can be reached at mapletide@fastmail.fm

SUMMARY: It was common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied boys. However, it was **not** common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied Remus Lupin.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: While this is the Christmas Exchange story I received, it's a little late because I was out of the country over Christmas and it took me until today to finish it. Sorry I'm late, but I got it out as soon as possible. Happy Christmas to Lia who requested the following elements: Sirius is pining after Remus, but Remus would rather not have anything to do with Sirius on that sort of romantic level. It isn't until Remus sees Sirius with another male (preferably not Snape) that jealousy rears it's ugly head and changes Remus's mind. I hope I managed to do it right! :) Enjoy.

\- - - - -

It was common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied boys.

The admission had come out, easy and arrogant, when they started their fifth year. Remus had been shocked only momentarily before accepting it. Peter, who was much more observant than the other three took him for most of the time, had known it for over a year, and still had nothing to say. James had stared at him in shock, and had been awkward around him for weeks afterwards.

However, it was **not** common knowledge that Sirius Black fancied Remus Lupin.

He himself had come to the conclusion late, during that period of time after the Trick when Remus could barely stand to look at him. It had been a moment of weakness after a period of harsh times that left to him leaving his family. Still, he hadn't understood entirely what he had wrought, so he chose to find out. As Sirius Black spent more time studying people than he did studying books, he took it upon himself to find out.

So every day for nearly six months, he watched Remus. He saw beyond the surface of the simple movements, and straight through to the person beneath all that. Remus used small gestures, and understated expressions to strike a point home harder than the rest of them could with all their boisterous activity.

For a Marauder, he was **quiet**. Of course, Sirius had always known that; he had been the one with the brilliant idea to bring Remus out of his shell at first. He just didn't realise before just how much his silence could get across.

Then, to Sirius, it was as though someone had poured the most acidic potion into one of the open wounds left behind when he'd left his parents' house. Only through that realisation did Sirius admit to himself that he had fallen in love with him somewhere along the way, and somehow had been far too daft to realise it.

Nothing could be said then. No, not yet. Slowly, though, the other boy started to trust him again, and Sirius was relieved enough to keep his silence.

However, that did not stop his sharp attention from being focussed upon Remus. He watched how Remus was around him, comparing it to how he was with other people, at other times, and even in other ways. It was very subtle, as was everything Moony did, but the difference was sharp.

It would appear that his feelings were not reciprocated.

The acknowledgment hurt, but he shoved it coarsely to the side. That wasn't important, he told himself. The rekindling of their friendship was what mattered, truly, and making the most of the last year and more that they had left. There was plenty of time to figure out the rest of it later.

They had the rest of their lives.

So with the talent learned at the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Sirius tucked away that secret, leaving it somewhere close to the bottom of his spirit before he flashed his reflection a roguish smile, and went to join the others at breakfast.

There were still Slytherins to prank, after all. No time for this daft emotional stuff.

\- - - - -

The months passed swiftly since he had forgiven Sirius, and Remus found them settling into something of a comfortable routine. The professors were stressing the NEWTs, but as there was little he could actually do with them, he couldn't force himself to give the same amount of attention he might have otherwise.

Besides, since school had started again, leading them into their final year at Hogwarts, Remus found that something else had his attention. The last thing he expected would have that attention, actually.

Sirius Black had always been a bit of a prat, and for that, Remus had tried to hold his distance as much as possible. It was impossible, really, because the other boy had crept his way past his defences. He never questioned why it hurt so much when his secret had been betrayed; he had been devastated by that when from anyone else, he would have simply accepted it with something akin to resignation.

During the long silence that had followed, and even afterwards, Remus had noticed odd looks Sirius had been throwing his way. Since they made him uncomfortable, he had simply ignored them. When he stopped throwing him those looks, though, he was relieved.

He had thought life was slowly getting back to normal -- well, normal for a Marauder, anyway -- and for a time, he was right.

However, when they returned from the summer holidays to start their last year, that swiftly changed.

\- - - - -

"Hey, mate, what took you so long? We've been waiting for you!"

James' voice was the first thing Remus heard clearly after moving through the platform. He just shook his head without answering. James' enthusiasm these days almost matched his arrogance; it had been bad enough when he had received his Head Boy badge, but when he had heard that Evans was the Head Girl, he had sworn on Merlin's name that it was a sign they were meant to be.

Upon hearing that, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had kept their smirks and laughs to themselves, but somehow Remus suspected that James wouldn't have paid them any mind anyway. He never had before, when it came to Evans, and this was one buck that didn't change his ways.

"Moony?"

"Hm?" he arched his eyebrows at James.

"You looked like you were somewhere else for a minute there."

"Oh, I was just trying to figure out where your invisible companions were," and Remus smirked. "You did say 'we', Prongs, and right now, the only person other than myself I'm seeing is you."

"Prat."

Remus laughed and pushed his cart ahead of James, leaving him to catch up. It didn't take long for him to do so, and they were talking about their summers when he was caught entirely off-guard by what he saw. He stopped cold, and James nearly ran into him because he wasn't watching where he was going.

"Mate, what the--"

Then James froze, and they both watched as Sirius, with his hair grown out enough that it tangled in the brick wall of the platform, had his hands plunged into the hair of another wizard. Remus dimly recognised him from somewhere, but didn't know where, and after a moment, it didn't really seem to matter.

He stopped trying to figure out who this light-haired man was, and focused on the strands of hair that were so obviously caught in the wall; it was mussed and longer, looking immensely good on him. The angles of his face were more visible than usual and the long fingers that made him more of an artist than a Quidditch player held his attention.

Oddly then, Remus remembered the purely wicked grin as those fingers caressed his wand, and his own fingers tightened against the handle of the cart he had been pushing. He was also unaware of the stare James was directing his way, and the low growl that was rising from the back of his throat.

In his mind existed only one thought: _Mine. Mine._

The presence of that thought broke the near-trance he had fallen into, and he let go of the cart with a pale, shocked look on his face. Sirius was still snogging at that wizard, and James was directing a confused glance between him and Sirius. Finally, Remus broke away and ran as though the wolves of hell were at his heels.

He probably should have worried about a good many things, but he couldn't bring himself to do so at that moment. He just wanted to get as far away from the growling possessiveness at the back of his mind and the sight of the Sirius snogging someone else.

Too bad it was well nigh impossible to run from one's self.

\- - - - -

By sheer luck, Remus somehow managed to avoid Sirius for the first week afterwards for the most part. They still had classes together, of course, but as nothing was said and Sirius didn't push, that just made it simple. Then there was the brotherly relationship between Sirius and James, which never was something to be ignored. That was just yet another thing that simplified his isolation, and Peter helped by not doing anything as usual.

That whole situation just left Remus alone with his thoughts for the most part, on the fringe of their little group. Often, when they were off on the Quidditch pitch, Remus would be back in their dorms, pacing and doing fierce battle with his own demons.

While he had never quite acknowledged any feelings for Sirius Black beyond the odd friendship they had shared after the Trick, that didn't mean they weren't there. Now, the oddity and the strange pauses, long looks, and strange tension that wouldn't go away no matter how comfortable they were together were starting to make sense in ways he had never considered before.

Still, in the back of his mind was the echo of what he had thought back on the platform. The growl, the possessive "Mine" that had been there were still present, and if anything, the more he thought about them, the stronger they got.

It should have been him who had Sirius shoved up against that wall. It should have been him.

"It could have been, if you'd really wanted it."

Remus stoped pacing and whirled around so quickly he was nearly dizzy. Sirius was leaning with a forced casualness against the doorframe, his eyes bright and intensely staring at him. For a long moment, all the jealousy poisoning his blood, the thoughts that wouldn't stop swirling around in his mind did stop. Only then did he stop staring at him as though he'd never seen him before, and cross the room, thrust one hand into that thick black hair that had been haunting his dreams that past week, and kissed him.

\- - - - -

When he had left the Quidditch pitch, this was the last situation Sirius thought he would find himself in. However, as he was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, considering how he felt about Remus Lupin, he ran both hands down the line of back and grasped his arse in both hands, dragging the other's body against his own.

He felt the vibration of the word "Yes" against him before the kiss deepened.

This was a rather unexpected development, definitely; when he had left James and Peter on the Quidditch pitch, he had hoped just to find Remus and ask him what had been going on. However, now that he was here, he wasn't going to complain. Nor was he going to think about it overmuch.

He pulled out of the kiss and tilted his head back against the wall, feeling the pressure of lips scraping against stubbble, and then against skin as they moved further downward. Nimble fingers made short work of the robes, baring more skin for him to taste, which he was doing even before they hit the floor.

When he tried to raise his hands to reciprocate, he found his hands pinned to the wall behind them, and those eyes raised away from his skin and meeting his own. His mouth went dry as the starved look in those eyes registered, and a shiver of sensation danced down his spine.

The sensation intensified, and he stopped fighting him when teeth bit into one of his nipples. A tongue swirled around the freshly-bitten flesh, before the action was repeated twice more. When Remus released the nipple from his mouth, Sirius let out a sound that he refused to define as a whimper, only to silence himself when the other nipple was given similar treatment.

Teasing nips to his ribs traced a line downward, and momentarily he wanted to fight him, if only to guide him to where he most needed him then. He was taking his own time, though, rubbing his cheek against the hipbone, and delivering a nip to the other side before finally Remus took his cock into his mouth. There was a faint humming that increased the sensation to the point of absolute mindlessness.

He thrust sharply three times, let out a strangled groan, and collapsed to the floor with the Remus' body firmly pressed against his own.

"What brought that on?" was the first thing he said once he recovered.

"Padfoot, you said that it could have been me, if I'd wanted it..."

"Yes?"

His voice was a low growl that helped speed the recovery process, "I wanted it."

There were at least a hundred things Sirius could have asked of his friend just then, but he didn't ask any of them. Instead he rolled so that Remus was beneath him, and smiled devilishly before leaning in and kissing him. He reached for his wand and made short work of the robes so that he might enjoy the expanse of skin placed before him.

He'd thought about this for long enough, after all; the thought of it had fueled his fantasies for years.

It took several moments for Sirius to look his fill before he moved on with hands and lips. His tongue reached out and swirled around the mark that the werewolf had left behind. After the welcome groan from near his ear, Sirius grinned a bit before moving downward to treat the nipples to similiar treatment, though ending them with a bite, which earned him another of those strangled noises from Remus' mouth.

"Sirius," he heard in that same rough, strangled tone.

In that tone was a request for more, and Sirius obeyed. Cursory nips were taken down his abdomen, then Sirius paused for a moment, looking at what he had wrought so far before moving to take the tip of him into his mouth, pausing there to adjust and possibly even to tease a little before taking him deeper inside. There was a long groan, a jumble of words that might have been "please" or "more". Perhaps it was both, but he was beyond caring at that moment.

The taste on his tongue was salty, slightly bitter, and he wanted more. He laved his tongue along the underside of him, and felt the jumping in his mouth, heard the harsh breathing above him, and could almost see the fingers trying and failing to find purchase along the floor. Finally his lover gave up and plunged his fingers into Sirius' hair, arching into him so that Sirius could feel him in the back of his throat. He nearly gagged for a moment in his surprise, but slowly relaxed.

Then he looked up at Remus and very deliberately swallowed.

That one motion had snapped the control Remus had left firmly as the other boy thrust against him once more before throwing his head back, his mouth open in a near-scream as he came. Sirius took all he had to give, and they collapsed in a sweaty heap there for long moments.

After a long silence, he was startled by the question, "Who was he?"

"Who do you mean?"

"At the station..."

Sirius smiled then, "Oh, just some random Ravenclaw who decided he wanted to snog me. Was that what changed your mind?"

There was a pause, then: "Yes."

His smile widened, "I should do that more often then..."

"Shut up, you berk. We'll talk about this later today. Or tomorrow."

A few more moments on the floor were all they could stand, particularly when there were comfortable beds within reach. Finally, they managed to get to Sirius' bed, and pulled the curtains closed before they curled up together for more sleep, not caring in the least who found them there.

\- - - - -

-end-


End file.
